Psychology of friendship

intermediate

SD_ PS _W02

SD_ PS _W04

SD_ PS _W05

SD_ PS _K04

SD_ PS _K05

P8S_WG;

P8S_WK

The lecture covers the issue of a friendly relationship understood as a special kind of interpersonal contacts. The ability to function optimally in friendly relationships is the basis for positive experiences and largely contributes to gaining life satisfaction, it also helps to be successful in the field of professional activity. Interpersonal competences allow you to make good friends and build friendships.

The lecture is an introduction to the study prepared by Anna Olejniczak and Justyna Iskra (2016) devoted to the experience of friendship from the perspective of men and women. The presented research focused on understanding the essence and trying to understand the specificity of this phenomenon. The differences between the sexes in the group of adults were also approximated. An important part of the lecture is the presentation of the original method "Friendship Questionnaire", which was developed by Justyna Iskra and Waldemar Klinkosz (2019). Participants will have the opportunity to evaluate themselves or those who are close friends in several aspects (scales) of friendship. Qualitative Personalistic Analysis developed by Zenon Uchnast allowed for getting to know and understand the individual way of experiencing friendship by each of the participants of the research. The results show that the strong ties of friendship between two people show that, first and foremost, they can count on each other because they have deep trust. Belief in the existence of friendship between a woman and a man among Poles is very high. It was expressed by as many as 88% of women and 80% of men participating in the research (Olejniczk and Iskra, 2016). A friend's confidence and willingness to support seem to be the most important value of this relationship ("profit"). On the other hand, the value of friendship is the time and commitment to the friend ("at the cost"). Friendship is about meeting basic mental needs. These are, among others: the ability to listen actively, being together in difficult times, help and support, i.e. affirmation, empathy and a sense of security. The relationship of friendship will make a person safe, "not lonely" and sure that he begins to talk openly about his difficulties and experiences, because opening up to a friend allows you to "spread" the burden of the psyche, life into two people, instead of carrying it yourself. In the relationship of friendship, the sphere of language and emotions differs women from men. A characteristic feature of the friendship of adults, regardless of the gender of the participants of the interaction, is highly developed empathy, a sense of responsibility and the ability to objectively assess a friend from the perspective of the past, as well as the ability to honestly communicate also difficult matters, expressing clear assessments and critical comments respecting the rights and the dignity of the other person. An important aspect of building interpersonal relationships is that friendship matures as the people who create it gain experience. Thus, in adulthood, friendships are more authentic compared to earlier developmental periods and much more durable. This is due to the already formed sense of identity, honesty, readiness to reveal the true "I" and also a high level of self-knowledge (self-knowledge). Getting to know your friend's separate point of view on specific issues and difficult matters helps to enrich yourself, your own coping strategies, especially in crisis situations. Friendship teaches empathy and respect for the distinctiveness of another person, but requires an open mind and a sensitive heart to the needs of other people, especially the closest person, i.e. a friend. Research allows us to see a great variety in terms of individual perception, definition and definition of friendship, because friendship is a very individual, subjective, personal and often intimate experience and therefore it is very difficult to describe events that show its essence. As Olejniczak and Iskra (2016, p. 165-166) writ “Friendship can be compared to psychotherapy with the difference that a friend is a therapist combining the methods of different schools. Sometimes it allows a person to express feelings and experiences freely. At other times, she feels with him, accepting the other person unconditionally. It also has the ability to refute false beliefs or to mobilize to act in order to overcome difficulties. The most important thing, however, is that he is always there to help, because a friend does not declare help, but helps. He does not declare support, but supports. He doesn't promise understanding, but he understands. He does not promise sacrifice, but sacrifices himself. He does not avoid difficult conversations, but he does talk. He does not avoid emotions, but reveals them. A friend is there, although you don't have to ask for it. He is silent when words are unnecessary. He shares joys and sorrows empathetically, understanding. It does not appropriate someone else's life, but affirms it. A friend is a gift that makes our life better, more meaningful and fuller. "A friend is there for us when we need him, and he enables us to open up, which means taking off the mask we put on when we go out into the world" Wosińska, 2004, p. 367]”.

Basic literature:

Uchnast, Z. (2013). Psychological qualitative analysis of life events of a human person: basic assumptions of the personalistic approach. [In:] J. Iskra, M. Artymiak (ed.). Human experiences. (pp. 11–26). Krakow: Petrus.

Olejniczak, A. (2012). Friendship Survey. [Msp.]. Lublin: Department of General Psychology at the Catholic University of Lublin.

Olejniczak, A., Iskra, J. (2016). Friendship in the experiences of women and men. Warsaw: Difin S.A.

Iskra, J., Klinkosz, W. (2019). Friendship Questionnaire. [Msp.]. Lublin: Department of General Psychology at the Catholic University of Lublin.

Szarota, P. (2014). Friendship under the microscope. Methodological problems in research on the functioning of friendly relations. Social Psychology, 1, 28–36.

Supplementary literature:

Adams, R.G., Allan, G. (1998). Placing friendship in context. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Adelman, M.B., Parks, M.R., Albrecht, T.L. (2007). The nature of friendship and its development. [In:] J. Stewart (ed), Mosty Instead of Walls. On communication between people (pp. 360–367). Warsaw: PWN.

Albisetti, V. (1999). To be a friend or have a friend? A way to get to know yourself and others. Kielce: Unity.

Argyle, M. (2001). Psychology of interpersonal relations. Warsaw: PWN.

Aronson, E. (2011). Man a social being. Warsaw: PWN.

Artymiak, M. (2010). Between a man and a woman. The art of communication. Krakow: Petrus.

Bajkowski, T. (2010). Femininity and masculinity in the perception of academic youth. Warsaw: Żak Academic Publishing House.

Bank, B.J., Hansford, S.L. (2000). Gender and friendship. Why are men`s best same-sex friendships less intimate and supportive? Personal Relationships, 7, 63–78.

Bem, S.L. (2000). Masculinity, femininity. About gender differences. Gdańsk: GWP.

Bieńko, M. (2001). Marital friendship. A study of the life experiences of Warsaw intellectuals. Warsaw: Żak Academic Publishing House.

Bleiszner, R., Adams, R. (1998). Adult friendship. Newbury Park: Sage.

Bleske-Rechek, A.L., Buss, D.M. (2000). Can men and women be just friends? Personal Relationships, 7, 131–135.

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Brestin, D. (2009). Female friendship - truth or myth. Poznań: Publishing House of the Polish Dominican Province On the way.

Brzezińska, A., Dąbrowska, J., Pełkowska, M., Staszczak, J. (2002). Psychological gender as a risk factor for behavioral disorders in adolescents in the second phase of adolescence, Journal of Psychology, 1, 75–85.

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Buss, D.M. (2007). Evolution of Desire. Gdańsk: GWP.

Carr, A. (2009). Positive psychology. Learning about happiness and loving yourself. Poznań: Zysk i S-ka.

Chapian, M. (1993). Close friend. How to build a lasting and deep friendship. Lublin: Pojednanie Publishing House.

Chiaia, M., Incampo, F. (eds.). (2008). Stories of great spiritual friendships. Krakow: OO Publishing House. Franciscans.

Davis, K.E., Todd, M.J. (1985). Assessing friendship: Prototypes, paradigm cases and relationship description. [In:] S. Duck, D. Perlman (eds.). Understanding personal relationships: An interdisciplinary approach. (pp. 17–38). London: Sage.

Degges-White, S., Borzumato-Gainey, Ch. (2012). Friends forever. Jan establish and care for good relationships. Warsaw: Świat Książki.

Duck, S. (2007). Our friend, ourselves. [In:] J. Stewart (ed), Bridges instead of walls. On communication between people. (pp. 371–383). Warsaw: PWN.

Dunn, J. (2008). Children's friendships. Krakow: Jagiellonian University Press.

Dwyer, D. (2005). Close interpersonal relationships. Gdańsk: GWP.

Fehr, B. (2008). Friendship formation. [In:] S. Sprecher, A. Wenzel, J. Harvey (eds.). The handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 29–54). Hillsdale: Erbaum.

Góźdź, J., Charzyńska, E. (2014). The phenomenon of friendship "at a distance" in early adulthood. [In:] A. Żywczok (ed.). Acquaintance, camaraderie, friendship. The dynamism of the evolution of the emotional bond (pp. 272–286). Warsaw: Żak Academic Publishing House.

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Iskra, J., Klinkosz, W. (2011). She in the twenty-first century, or how women and men see her. Psychological examination. [In:] P. Bury, Z. Dziemianko (ed.). Many faces of women - "she" in not only medical texts (pp. 95–113). Poznań: MAIUSCULA Scientific and Publishing Institute.

Jankowski, K. (2002). Friendship just in case. Charaktery, 2, 12–16.

Kuczyńska, A. (2002). Psychological gender of an ideal and real partner

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McGinnis, L.A. (1998). The art of friendship. Warsaw: Vocatio Publishing House.

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Szczepańska, M. (2014). Friendship as a specific form of interpersonal bond - a contextual approach. [In:] A. Żywczok (ed.). Acquaintance, camaraderie, friendship. The dynamism of the evolution of the emotional bond (pp. 231–250). Warsaw: Żak.

Szczepańska, M., Gaweł-Luty, E. (2010). Friendship as a value in social relations between children and youth. Krakow: Impuls Publishing House.

Szmigielska, B. (2002). There are no shops with friends. Charaktery, 2, 20–21.

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Knowledge:

1) has knowledge of friendship (SD_PS_W02).

2) characterizes new concepts of a friendly relationship (SD_PS_W02).

3) explains the importance of a friendly relationship in human functioning (SD_PS_W02).

4) has knowledge of a friendly relationship (SD_PS_W03).

5) knows the basic relationships between friendship relations and other psychological theories (SD_PS_W03).

Skills:

1) knows how to conduct a friend relationship research (P8S_WG).

2) can effectively use their knowledge to prepare a profile of a friend relationship (P8S_WG).

3) can prepare a friendly relationship training (P8S_WK).

4) has the ability to create his own, individual workshop in order to raise his own competences for building friendship relations (P8S_WK).

Competences (attitudes):

1) independently and critically update their consulting skills in terms of building a friendly relationship (SD_PS_K04).

2) is aware of the responsibility for the diagnosis of a friendly relationship: profile and typological (SD_PS_K03).

3) respects and respects the diversity of the intensity of friendship relations in different people, respectfully provides appropriate support for personal development (SD_PS_K03).

- Activity on the e-learning platform (Teams) - 15 hours.

- Synchronous contact in real time through transmissions and communication using the MS TEAMS application.

- Written work on the content presented during the lecture and the assessment of friendly relationship.

- Participation in classes.

Absence.